‘Will she come back?’
Immediately tears fell from my eyes as my worst nightmare was realised.
Ever since I can remember I’ve had people telling me that there are two sides of me;
1- the fun, outgoing, confident, empowering, loving, HAPPY side,
2- the quiet, reserved, closed off, cold, distant, unapproachable side.
This week I’ve slowly turned into the latter Sarah-Lynn.
Now I’m going to be honest, I’ve been to therapy to talk to someone about this, because in a particularly bad relationship I was convinced that I was ill: that I was mentally unstable and in need of serious help and medication.
The diagnosis: I’m human! I’m going to experience different moods, feelings, and emotions!
It’s taken a long time to reclaim my life from that bad relationship, and an even longer time to rebuild my self-awareness.
Humans are blessed with the double-edged sword of being able to feel numerous emotions at any one time – sometimes even experience more than one emotion at once!
Depending on which research you go with, there are 7 human emotions that are considered ‘root emotions’ (some say 4, 6, 8… it’s hard to get to a consensus on something so personal)
By looking at this list I’m reminded that as a complex being I’m bound to have a range of emotions, and I’m going to exhibit an array of them as circumstances around me develop and change.
The thing is, emotions are subjective. You may feel strongly about something that someone else does not; You may feel the need to cry after Dunkirk in a packed movie theatre because you’re overcome by the grief, and pride, and pain, and glory; You might become overwhelmed by a never ending to-do list and a deadline that’s racing closer.
You’re going to hit rocky points where things just seem unbearable.
You’re going to face hardship, and heartbreak, and grief, and fear, and uncertainty, and embarrassment; you’re going to feel it all.
And that’s okay.
It’s okay to feel emotion.
It’s okay to feel so happy you want to cry,
So excited you have butterflies,
So in love you can’t stop smiling
The lesson here, is that emotions are internal, and we control them. We choose to feel an emotion, and let it shape our perceived reality.
So feel your emotions, but don’t let them take control.
If you’re feeling stressed take a breath, do something that makes you refocus your energy, smile even though you feel fake and goofy, and talk to someone or journal it out.
You are stronger than your emotions.
They do not control you, they help you perceive the world – the key word is HELP.
If your emotions are not helping you, you need to choose a different emotion so you can move forward.
It’s not about ignoring emotions that bring us pain.
It’s about acknowledging them, feeling into them (time appropriate), thanking them for reminding you of what you stand for, and letting go.
It’s only then we can become stronger and realise that you have the power to change any bad day into a good day.